Find Your Bubble Bath

A picture of me this morning after I finally got to sport my new hairstyle from five weeks ago!

This morning, I set my alarm for my usual 6 AM time.  I have done this for quite sometime now.  On days that I exercise, I get up earlier; however, that routine has been on the wayside for a bit now!  Anywhoo... I hit the snooze and promptly started to get out of bed.  I try to get up and get going before everyone else does and before everyone else needs me for this and that during the morning rush.  Getting the opportunity to at least shower before getting interrupted is important to me.  I just need a few minutes sometimes to just not get interrupted.  This plan of getting up earlier usually works, but sometimes the idea and hope bombs on me as it did this morning.

As I started to hustle myself to the bathroom through the dark room, I heard not only Big Boy stirring again for the third straight morning, but Little Man was already awake in his room for the third straight morning as well.  He calls out for Scot or myself when he wakes up, but mostly for Scot.  Knowing this and after the last two mornings of trying to get Little Man up while attempting to also take care of myself with Scot snoozing away, I decided to try to jump into the bathroom before Little Man realized I was up, especially due to the fact that lately Little Man just cries for Scot to get him up anyways, for which he usually throws a minor temper tantrum.  The last two mornings, I have left him in his room, telling him that I did not have to be treated that way and it was unacceptable and now he can wait longer to get out of his room. 

Before, I got out of my master bedroom this morning, however, Little Man somehow shouted for his dad loud enough that Scot was alerted immediately and was out of bed in a flash.  Before I realized it though, Scot not only grabbed Little Man but decided that he would just go ahead and wake up the girls too! "NO!" I whispered loudly.  "Leave them be! Their wake up time is 6:30!" I snapped.  I wanted them left be for several reasons.  The main reasons were that I did not think my school aged girls should get up earlier at the expense of their two-year-old brother and causing them less sleep for the school day ahead, and I wanted less noise as well as a greater chance to get my shower in with out interruption.  Scot had other plans though.  "I decided to get the girls up so I can feed them all at the same time.  It's okay.  Go get your shower," he said.  I objected but went on my way because honestly the thing that everyone hears me mumble under my breath in this household is, "Nobody listens to Mommy, not even Daddy." Defeated I went into the bathroom and closed the door. 

As I lathered up my hair, I heard knocking at my locked door.  I raised my voice, "Leave me be!  I can't  do anything while in here [shower]," I pleaded for peace.  What I had feared was now occurring--I was being interrupted. I heard what I believed was Crazy Paizy's squeaky voice at the other side of the door.  I pleaded with her to go get her father.  But wait her father was most likely on his porcelain throne for which is his normal morning routine.  What happens if Paizy needs to use the toilet and her dad is using the other one!  I hopped out of the shower, grabbed my towel and threw it carelessly around sopping, wet me.  I opened the door for which no one was there anymore of course, and whispered rather loudly trying to keep my shouting down as Big Boy was still in his crib for the time being, "The door is unlocked for whomever needed it opened!"

As I jumped back into the shower, I realized how much I would like a larger house with three toilets and my master bathroom being at the farthest corner of the house and from my bedroom door.  We have a realtor now and we are casually looking, but we are still not going to be able to move into a house we would like until another 8 months or a year goes by, unless we find an awesome deal before hand.  With that in mind, I also wondered how were we going to make this small house work a bit longer as everyone seems to hear everyone else as white noise and me trying to tell everyone to keep it down because somebody is sleeping, is simply not enough anymore. Anyways, I felt defeated as I got out of my interrupted shower, knowing that this is most likely how it is going to be for a bit. 

Wondering what was so important that my shower had to be interrupted, I threw my bathrobe on again and piled my white towel on top of my head and marched down the stairs and stopped on the second landing where I saw my family eating breakfast in the dining room. "Who and why was somebody knocking at my door?" I asked while placing my hands upon my hips.

They all looked up at me dumb founded and Crazy Paizy said, "It was me."

"And why?"

"I didn't know where Little Man's underwear was."

Long story but Scot had placed Little Man on the potty and sent Crazy Paizy for his underwear and when she could not find them she decided to ask me instead of Scot.

"I don't get time for me!" I exclaimed.  "I can't sleep by myself.  I can't shower by myself. I can't even poop by myself," I declared.

They all just stared at me.  I muttered it all again and headed up stairs into the bathroom.  I leaned over the sink and placed my face into my hands and thought to myself, I can't go a night with out Big Boy getting up at least twice.  I can't shower or get dressed on my own with out someone trying to come through the door. I can't poop on my own.  I can barely eat breakfast before someone needs me.  I can't even talk on the phone with out someone interrupting me.

Yep, I now understand why my mom used to hide in our garage to talk on the phone when we were growing up, and why she would snap at us when we found her.  She needed somewhere to think and somewhere where it was relatively quiet to just talk on the phone.  My problem, however, is that I don't have a garage!  I can go outside if it isn't freezing cold out, or if the bugs aren't chewing me alive when it is warm out; otherwise, all I can do is hide in my master bedroom or in one of the bathrooms.  One of my children, however, is almost always certainly at my door though.  What some of you all may not know is when a mom is on the phone, that is often a green light for kids to get loud and needy! 

I rushed around this morning trying to get myself dressed and others out the door before my boys needed me.  Even found Scot playing on his cell phone in the midst of it all.  When I entered the kitchen and noticed him, I huffed and puffed, for which he did put his phone down promptly.  I just sometimes feel like its just me and all of them, including my hubby.  I keep it all going.  I have even gotten upset that Scot can come home in the evenings and is able to take 15 minutes in the restroom when I can't even get so much as a minute to do my business with out someone needing me! I don't get time for me!

Today, I was determined to blow dry my hair thoroughly, and I did succeed!  However, it wasn't before I had the realization that it had been five weeks since I got my hair highlighted and had a few layers put in for the first time in a long time.  My hair stylist had given me a new hair-do and I hadn't even sported it once!  Not even once!  It has been five weeks since I have had my hair completely down with out it being pulled back of some kind.  I have been to church with my hair thrown back more times than I have ever done in the past!  Today, was the first time in five weeks I got to style and blow out my new hair-do!

You see, my time just isn't my time anymore and especially right now.  I love ALL of my children dearly, but I have to agree with my dad who had four kiddos of his own--having four children is a lot of work.  Gone are the days of me right now I am afraid.  It can take me days and several interruptions before I can post on one of my blogs.  It can take me 3 days some weeks just to scrap an 8x8 page, if I scrap at my house.  When one kid is quiet, another child needs me.  There is just no me time anymore.  I used to be up and dressed, including bathed, hair done and make-up applied before the kids got up.  Now I am trying to do all that with my kids awake because they are all starting to wake up during my quiet time of the day right now for some reason.  I don't get much time to exercise anymore as sleep is way more important to me and hence to the well-being of my family right now. 

You see, you have to be selfless to be a mom and especially as a mom to as many kids as I have.  Life isn't about you and your needs anymore.  You have to be totally selfless; HOWEVER, it is okay to have some selfish moments where it is about you sometimes.  It is better for you and the relationship with your kids and husband if you can find some of your my time.  Try to find a few minutes here and there to make a few things about you.  You need to and don't feel guilty about it either.  I totally understand my mom's need to have her bubble baths back in the day!  She would go running to have them too!  That was one way she found some down time, and I didn't get it until I became a mom, especially when I became a mom to four kiddos as she has been. 

Scot and I have decided that I need at least a few hours out of the week to have my bubble bath--to blow dry my hair so to speak.  Right now I scrapbook a few hours in the evening with a group of women at a church on Mondays.  I couldn't run out the door fast enough the last two weeks either.  I struggled with feeling guilty about feeling that way at first; however, it is okay to feel that way some times.  I am a mom 24/7 for the most part.  It is for their sake that I should go and enjoy.  We all need a break from each other especially as I am a stay-at-home mom.  And even when this eight week scrap time is over, I think me running to Starbucks and sitting still will be in order. 

Today, I demanded of myself to write this post, and to finally feel good about my hair, and to blow it dry, and to wear it down.  And that was okay to do and it was needed.  I needed a few minutes of my time.  To you moms out there, find your bubble bath.