You Can Make Anything A Moment

So after I wrote my last post, I did almost immediately feel bad about neglecting my boys that morning for the most part, especially that of Little Man.  They still got their snacks--all be it whether it was fruit snacks for Little Man or my breast milk for Big Boy!  And I did continue to potty train Little Man, change Big Boy's diapers, and I did get both boys dressed and such; however, I didn't spend much play time with them either that morning.  I didn't give them quiet time with me and my full attention. By the end of the morning, it truly broke my heart. 

There is a fine line between selflessness as a mom and needed my time as a mom; and I continue to struggle to find what that balance is and what it should look like. 

Anyways, right now with all my kiddos being up before the butt-crack-of-dawn lately, which causes me to have to struggle a good chunk of the morning between their needs and my need to just get dressed and presentable, it leaves me with less of a morning to do household chores like laundry and such causing me to have even less time to have one-on-one time with my kids I am afraid.  I am feeling like that there is just not enough of me to go around lately and I hate feeling that way right now.

Again, I feel like Little Man has gotten the worst end of the deal at the moment.  Over the last two years, Little Man has been shuttled to and fro to get his sisters where they have needed to be; and then with his new baby brother around and needing attention from me, I feel like Little Man isn't getting the attention that he deserves.  Scot has reminded me that I have felt this way for each child as a new baby has come along; and in the end, I will probably feel like Big Boy has been slighted when he is being shuttled around here and there, to and fro, at the expense of his siblings and their school demands and extra curricular activities.  I think through out my motherhood, I will always waffle with whom I feel is getting shafted at the time... just cause that is how I feel about things so often...

Anyways, today is about Little Man to a degree and the others in retrospect as well. 

I have come to the realization through parenting recently and trying to find time to have quiet time with Little Man in between the needs of my other children, that you can make anything a moment...

That is right.  You can create a moment of bonding in the midst of other things... anything... and stop limiting yourself to what you think those moments should look like. 

Thankfully, Little Man has a helping spirit.  He loves to help me with a variety of chores in a way that his other siblings never did or enjoyed at his age.  He is a go getter and often takes the initiative to help me.  So our quiet times have often been surrounded by a chore such as laundry and dusting.  Sometimes, I take the opportunity to talk about colors or counting as we fold laundry and such.  He gets a big smile on his face believe it or not! Earlier today, I told him that I was going to make time for him and he asked about us dusting!  Go figure!

One morning, I needed to get soup going in the crockpot; and once again, my morning was fleeting by quickly.  I asked Little Man if he wanted to help make the soup with me.  I did not realize how much he would enjoy making it and how proud he would be to serve it to everyone later on that evening.  He and I had a great experience while making the soup. 

I have found that you can make bonding moments out of anything.  Your bonding times don't have to be over play time, craft time, games or baking cookies.  You can make other times count too. 

With a family as large as mine, this has been an important aspect of parenting all of my kiddos.  I am glad to have come to this realization.  I hope it has helped you too!

Find Your Bubble Bath

A picture of me this morning after I finally got to sport my new hairstyle from five weeks ago!

This morning, I set my alarm for my usual 6 AM time.  I have done this for quite sometime now.  On days that I exercise, I get up earlier; however, that routine has been on the wayside for a bit now!  Anywhoo... I hit the snooze and promptly started to get out of bed.  I try to get up and get going before everyone else does and before everyone else needs me for this and that during the morning rush.  Getting the opportunity to at least shower before getting interrupted is important to me.  I just need a few minutes sometimes to just not get interrupted.  This plan of getting up earlier usually works, but sometimes the idea and hope bombs on me as it did this morning.

As I started to hustle myself to the bathroom through the dark room, I heard not only Big Boy stirring again for the third straight morning, but Little Man was already awake in his room for the third straight morning as well.  He calls out for Scot or myself when he wakes up, but mostly for Scot.  Knowing this and after the last two mornings of trying to get Little Man up while attempting to also take care of myself with Scot snoozing away, I decided to try to jump into the bathroom before Little Man realized I was up, especially due to the fact that lately Little Man just cries for Scot to get him up anyways, for which he usually throws a minor temper tantrum.  The last two mornings, I have left him in his room, telling him that I did not have to be treated that way and it was unacceptable and now he can wait longer to get out of his room. 

Before, I got out of my master bedroom this morning, however, Little Man somehow shouted for his dad loud enough that Scot was alerted immediately and was out of bed in a flash.  Before I realized it though, Scot not only grabbed Little Man but decided that he would just go ahead and wake up the girls too! "NO!" I whispered loudly.  "Leave them be! Their wake up time is 6:30!" I snapped.  I wanted them left be for several reasons.  The main reasons were that I did not think my school aged girls should get up earlier at the expense of their two-year-old brother and causing them less sleep for the school day ahead, and I wanted less noise as well as a greater chance to get my shower in with out interruption.  Scot had other plans though.  "I decided to get the girls up so I can feed them all at the same time.  It's okay.  Go get your shower," he said.  I objected but went on my way because honestly the thing that everyone hears me mumble under my breath in this household is, "Nobody listens to Mommy, not even Daddy." Defeated I went into the bathroom and closed the door. 

As I lathered up my hair, I heard knocking at my locked door.  I raised my voice, "Leave me be!  I can't  do anything while in here [shower]," I pleaded for peace.  What I had feared was now occurring--I was being interrupted. I heard what I believed was Crazy Paizy's squeaky voice at the other side of the door.  I pleaded with her to go get her father.  But wait her father was most likely on his porcelain throne for which is his normal morning routine.  What happens if Paizy needs to use the toilet and her dad is using the other one!  I hopped out of the shower, grabbed my towel and threw it carelessly around sopping, wet me.  I opened the door for which no one was there anymore of course, and whispered rather loudly trying to keep my shouting down as Big Boy was still in his crib for the time being, "The door is unlocked for whomever needed it opened!"

As I jumped back into the shower, I realized how much I would like a larger house with three toilets and my master bathroom being at the farthest corner of the house and from my bedroom door.  We have a realtor now and we are casually looking, but we are still not going to be able to move into a house we would like until another 8 months or a year goes by, unless we find an awesome deal before hand.  With that in mind, I also wondered how were we going to make this small house work a bit longer as everyone seems to hear everyone else as white noise and me trying to tell everyone to keep it down because somebody is sleeping, is simply not enough anymore. Anyways, I felt defeated as I got out of my interrupted shower, knowing that this is most likely how it is going to be for a bit. 

Wondering what was so important that my shower had to be interrupted, I threw my bathrobe on again and piled my white towel on top of my head and marched down the stairs and stopped on the second landing where I saw my family eating breakfast in the dining room. "Who and why was somebody knocking at my door?" I asked while placing my hands upon my hips.

They all looked up at me dumb founded and Crazy Paizy said, "It was me."

"And why?"

"I didn't know where Little Man's underwear was."

Long story but Scot had placed Little Man on the potty and sent Crazy Paizy for his underwear and when she could not find them she decided to ask me instead of Scot.

"I don't get time for me!" I exclaimed.  "I can't sleep by myself.  I can't shower by myself. I can't even poop by myself," I declared.

They all just stared at me.  I muttered it all again and headed up stairs into the bathroom.  I leaned over the sink and placed my face into my hands and thought to myself, I can't go a night with out Big Boy getting up at least twice.  I can't shower or get dressed on my own with out someone trying to come through the door. I can't poop on my own.  I can barely eat breakfast before someone needs me.  I can't even talk on the phone with out someone interrupting me.

Yep, I now understand why my mom used to hide in our garage to talk on the phone when we were growing up, and why she would snap at us when we found her.  She needed somewhere to think and somewhere where it was relatively quiet to just talk on the phone.  My problem, however, is that I don't have a garage!  I can go outside if it isn't freezing cold out, or if the bugs aren't chewing me alive when it is warm out; otherwise, all I can do is hide in my master bedroom or in one of the bathrooms.  One of my children, however, is almost always certainly at my door though.  What some of you all may not know is when a mom is on the phone, that is often a green light for kids to get loud and needy! 

I rushed around this morning trying to get myself dressed and others out the door before my boys needed me.  Even found Scot playing on his cell phone in the midst of it all.  When I entered the kitchen and noticed him, I huffed and puffed, for which he did put his phone down promptly.  I just sometimes feel like its just me and all of them, including my hubby.  I keep it all going.  I have even gotten upset that Scot can come home in the evenings and is able to take 15 minutes in the restroom when I can't even get so much as a minute to do my business with out someone needing me! I don't get time for me!

Today, I was determined to blow dry my hair thoroughly, and I did succeed!  However, it wasn't before I had the realization that it had been five weeks since I got my hair highlighted and had a few layers put in for the first time in a long time.  My hair stylist had given me a new hair-do and I hadn't even sported it once!  Not even once!  It has been five weeks since I have had my hair completely down with out it being pulled back of some kind.  I have been to church with my hair thrown back more times than I have ever done in the past!  Today, was the first time in five weeks I got to style and blow out my new hair-do!

You see, my time just isn't my time anymore and especially right now.  I love ALL of my children dearly, but I have to agree with my dad who had four kiddos of his own--having four children is a lot of work.  Gone are the days of me right now I am afraid.  It can take me days and several interruptions before I can post on one of my blogs.  It can take me 3 days some weeks just to scrap an 8x8 page, if I scrap at my house.  When one kid is quiet, another child needs me.  There is just no me time anymore.  I used to be up and dressed, including bathed, hair done and make-up applied before the kids got up.  Now I am trying to do all that with my kids awake because they are all starting to wake up during my quiet time of the day right now for some reason.  I don't get much time to exercise anymore as sleep is way more important to me and hence to the well-being of my family right now. 

You see, you have to be selfless to be a mom and especially as a mom to as many kids as I have.  Life isn't about you and your needs anymore.  You have to be totally selfless; HOWEVER, it is okay to have some selfish moments where it is about you sometimes.  It is better for you and the relationship with your kids and husband if you can find some of your my time.  Try to find a few minutes here and there to make a few things about you.  You need to and don't feel guilty about it either.  I totally understand my mom's need to have her bubble baths back in the day!  She would go running to have them too!  That was one way she found some down time, and I didn't get it until I became a mom, especially when I became a mom to four kiddos as she has been. 

Scot and I have decided that I need at least a few hours out of the week to have my bubble bath--to blow dry my hair so to speak.  Right now I scrapbook a few hours in the evening with a group of women at a church on Mondays.  I couldn't run out the door fast enough the last two weeks either.  I struggled with feeling guilty about feeling that way at first; however, it is okay to feel that way some times.  I am a mom 24/7 for the most part.  It is for their sake that I should go and enjoy.  We all need a break from each other especially as I am a stay-at-home mom.  And even when this eight week scrap time is over, I think me running to Starbucks and sitting still will be in order. 

Today, I demanded of myself to write this post, and to finally feel good about my hair, and to blow it dry, and to wear it down.  And that was okay to do and it was needed.  I needed a few minutes of my time.  To you moms out there, find your bubble bath.

Table for Six Please!

So I decided that I will share this quick blurb with you all given how I came up with the name for this blog anyways! 

Yes, we are now officially a family of six, but we had been spending quite a bit of time at home and being a table of six at home rather than out and about in the public world known as a restaurant.  We had been avoiding it with a newborn and germs; but we were also avoiding the logistics of taking two adults and four kiddos out for a meal as it did seem a little daunting to Scot and I as well.  Excluding one evening where we ate at a deli type, sandwich shop, we didn't eat out anywhere for weeks after Big Mac our Big Boy was born.  The experience that night wasn't too shabby, but it wasn't like we had a true sit down dinner in its truest form with an actual server or anything.  We still hadn't accomplished that feat and gone out someplace relatively descent just yet.

Well, after hearing the girls desiring to eat out again, and actually hearing Sky Baby blame the lack of meals out on her littlest brother (though I guess in part that was a true assessment on her part; just didn't like hearing her say it), Scot and I realized that the attempt should be made soon and well he and I were looking forward to a dinner out too with no mess to clean up as well.  So about three weeks ago, we ventured out for a family meal out complete with an actual wait staff!

We journeyed to a large store some miles away to shop and we planned to dine in at their relatively descent seafood restaurant.  Scot and I with all our kiddos in tow, headed over to the restaurant entrance and for the very first time I heard Scot say, "Table for six please." Okay, Okay, Okay he didn't quite say it like that, but I just had to type my version because of the name of my blog you know!!  LOL!  Anyways... when Scot was asked how many by the hostess, he replied something to the affect of, "Five and a half," because Big Boy was in his carrier and stroller; and therefore, we didn't need a table that actually sat six.

HOWEVER, they sat us at a table for six anyways!

As we all filed behind the hostess who led us to our table, I could see some eyes staring at us.  I know I shouldn't put thoughts in peoples heads but while some looked like they were thinking what beautiful children we had, others looked like they were thinking that we had a few too many children and that they were worried that my kids were going to ruin their meals and chatter. 

But they didn't need to worry because our kids behaved beautifully.  I mean they really did, and I am not just saying that because I am their mom!  Little Man had a few minutes of a two-year-old attitude, however, Scot took him out to take some merchandise we bought to the minivan and when they returned a short time later, our food was served.  And while we ate, we enjoyed a calm and pleasant meal as did others on our side of the dining room.  I did scarf down my shrimp pasta because Big Boy was due for a feeding at any point by the time we were seated (there was a brief wait time originally as the restaurant was busy); however, Big Boy didn't wake up for some time after we finished our dinner; and therefore, I piled pasta into my mouth quickly for nothing!

It was such a good experience and a wonderful feeling to be out and about as a table of six, officially!  I can't guarantee that calm meals out and about will be common place all of the time as Little Man had a few moments out last night, but I will enjoy the ones that do go well and I will continue to embrace my family of six!  As I type those very words, I look forward to sharing more experiences and the things that we have learned and such as a family of six.  I have so many posts I plan on writing!  If you are interested, be on the look out!