Small Talk?

So I experienced something just the other day that reminded me of some of the reasons as to why I wanted to start this blog.  Being termed as a "large family" here in the United States can bring about all kinds of opinions, which often can generate a variety of unsolicited comments and looks.  It can make things rather interesting at times I must say.

Earlier this week, I went to a local grocery store to pick up a few, quick items.  I had just picked up the girls from school and I was taking all of my kiddos inside with me.  As I entered the store with all my kiddos in toe and as we were all smiling and chatting while Crazy Paizy was telling me about her day at school, we were interrupted by a woman leaving the store.  She asked me if all the kids were mine, and I replied with a huge smile, "Yes, they are all mine."  She proceeded to give me quite a look and responded with, "I feel sorry for you." I looked blankly at her for a second and proceeded to continue to walk on when I said something to the effect of, "Don't be.  We are good."  For which, her mouth dropped wide open, almost as if she was shocked by my response and thought I was some kind of Bible beater.

I went a little further inside the store, when I stopped as the girls and I started commenting about the lady's rude statement.  I told the girls that I was offended as Sky Baby asked what was a statement like that supposed to mean and why did the lady ask it?  Sky Baby's face explained it all to me.  Her expression confirmed to me that I had every right to be offended by such a rude statement and I will explain to you as to why.

So through another media outlet, other people got wind of my displeasure.  People voiced their opinions and let me know they liked what I said.  But I did have some people come to the defense of the other woman claiming that it was probably just her way of having "small talk."  I responded saying that I wasn't going to be privy to such kinds of "small talk" and here is why.

First of all, I am not one of those people who believes that people are innately good.  On the contrary, I believe that humans are innately sinful.  They are sinners who are in need of Jesus Christ, our Savior.  I had first hand experience with this woman's tone and expression, and for me it was not of a good and nice nature; however, I cannot be sure entirely what her true intentions were when she made that remark.  Perhaps she was just trying to simply strike up small talk, but I have a problem with that kind of small talk regardless of the intentions behind such remarks.

When somebody makes a comment like "I feel sorry for you" after you answered their question about all of the kids being yours, what is that person trying to achieve in such small talk as that?  It seems to me that they would like the mom [me] to agree with their statement, and to start complaining about her kids, and all she does for them, while standing amongst her children she speaks ill about.  It is as if that person wants the mom to start a pity party of sorts right in front of her children, which is undoubtedly wrong to do.

Now don't take me wrong.  There are challenges that do come with parenting as many children as I have; and I do experience some "moments" (as I like to call them and if you can get my drift) while out in public.  In fact, two of my children proceeded to have some brief horse play inside the very store just minutes after the lady made her comment; however, I addressed the situation and moved on.  I left as I had come in--smiling.  Parenting four children isn't always easy, however, I am blessed to be their mom.  They have blessed me and molded me into the person I am today; and therefore, I will not take part in such kinds of small talk.  I will not degrade my children, and I will most certainly not degrade my children in front of them and with a stranger who is supposedly trying to strike-up some kind of small talk!