Keeping A Tighter Ship (It Is Okay To Make A Course Correction)

I love all of my kiddos dearly.  Love every single one of them immensely!  And I love mothering them; however, there are certain aspects of motherhood that I do not like as much as others.  Sometimes as a mom, it is okay to change up your approach too!

I tend to be a fun loving mom who is strict to some degree too.  It just depends what is involved and what is going on.  I can play and be light-hearted but I can be stern when I need to be as well.   While I desire to have my kids enjoy spending time with me, and I them as well, I do not desire that I have to be their best friend.  I just want to have a good relationship with them.

As a mom, I wear many hats and have to take various approaches on a variety of things, especially when addressing a situation or an obstacle.  Many times, I set out going one direction, but often I have to make a few course corrections to get to the desired destination--a.k.a. outcome.  Sometimes you just can't get stuck in one frame of mind or one means of an approach as a parent, especially when you have a few kiddos like myself.  You have to be willing to change things up a bit, if you are invested in your kids lives.

Don't be stubborn or fool-hearted to change up your parenting style, if what you are doing isn't working.  Take me and homework time for instance.  Just know that my least favorite time of the day, is homework time.  It can be crazy and chaotic around here.  With two girls coming home from school with homework and folders for me to go through while having an energetic and passionate 2-year-old awake and running around with an infant who is not quite on a preferred afternoon nap schedule as of yet, homework time can be a huge undertaking and sometimes overwhelming. 

Before Big Mac arrived, (Yes, he may have two nicknames on here!  The other one being Big Boy!) I approached homework a certain way.  However, as the weeks went by, that old way of doing things wasn't working anymore.  I had to switch it up for every one's sake.  Not only for mine but theirs too.  My yelling wasn't good for anyone, but near chaos wasn't good for the girls academics either.  So I had to switch things up and make things as structured as possible while being forced to be very strict.

Between 3 PM to 3:30 PM, the kids chill and enjoy a snack after school.  At 3:30 most days we start homework time with share and prayer time.  (We take the time to talk about school that day and then we pray for their school.)  After that, as the kids are sitting on the floor in front of me, I review the homework time rules and ask them questions about it.  Each child must raise their hand to be called upon.  Our rules include hands to ourselves, quiet and/or no talking, do not invade another's study space, raising hands when they need me or have a question, and answering me with a "Yes, Mom" when I give them a command or an answer so that I know that they heard me, etc.  And any infraction, like rough housing and wrestling for example, is a mandatory time out.  While in time out, if one of them as much as mutters a word, their time is extended.  I have had to send kids into time out in an instant for longer periods of  time than I ever used to imagine I would.  If someone merely shouts once during homework, they are doomed to the timeout spot without so much as a pause.  I have had to get real strict to make homework time more efficient and effective.  They get the warning at the beginning of homework time, after that I don't give any warnings.  If a rule is broken, they go straight into timeout.  I have no time for the three-strikes-your-out-system anymore, that I often found myself doing.  It wasn't working, so I had to do what it took to make things move more smoothly.

I was forced to keep a tighter ship, but that is okay.  I had to become firm, stern, and a disciplinarian during homework time.  It was sad for me at first, but I am starting to see how my kids are benefiting from it now.  I think they are respecting me more, and hence, will respect other people of authority more in the end too.  And homework time is going much better.  It took the kids about 2 to 3 weeks to get used to my stricter study time, but they have gotten used to it and homework time is going smoother. With as many kids as I have, I don't have time to fool around and handout a bunch of warnings.  They need to do what I say when I say it.  A larger family means a tighter ship with Scot and I at the helm.