Flexible

Since officially becoming a mom of four children, and well even just before hand, I have learned a new word and I have embraced a new motto for my motherhood, which is to be FLEXIBLE.  Yep, that is it.  It is simple enough for some moms, but it has not been as such for me. 

I have been learning to set my expectations low as a mom and to make my daily goals simple and reasonable (If I have any daily goals at all!).  For instance, I used to take pride on how much I was able to get done in one day, including spending time with my kids.  However, as I have learned in the recent weeks, just getting dressed and applying make-up is a feat all of its own.  One day this week, I had one (just ONE!) simple chore planned (Well, at least I thought that it was simple!), and I was unable to ever really achieve it or even attempt at working on it.  Yep, between having a newborn, and the girls home from school and trying to potty train my two-year-old son who also came down with a cold and a runny nose, all I ended up doing was running up and down the stairs all morning long.  I kid you not.  I have not been able to get into an exercise routine as of yet, because sleeping an additional hour with a newborn infant seems more important to me and to my well being as a mom, and hence to the well being of my family, than getting back into shape. Well, as of right now, just how many times I am up and down all day long, just may be all the exercise that I need currently!  It has just been an accomplishment to get lunch for all four of my kiddos during winter break!  And that is an important accomplishment!  And it took me three days to get my one simple task, though I will use that term loosely now, accomplished by the way!

I also used to try to get all my planned chores done in a specific time frame during the day so that the evening I am pretty much free.  Whelp, those days are long gone at the moment.  After dishes are put away and lunches are packed for school the following day, I have learned if I have a moment to get one quick thing done, I need to embrace it at any time.  Take last night for instance, as I was getting ready for bed, I was in the bathroom and discovered my toilet was in desperate need of a cleaning and well I ended up scrubbing that sucker at 10 PM, which used to be taboo for me! However, I have learned to seize opportunity, no matter what time!

Besides wanting to embrace my children and to spend time with them, I also thought I was a better mom for turning off the TV and doing crafts and various activities with my kids.  While I absolutely detest having the television on too much, right now as I  adjust to being a mother of four and having a newborn, I am afraid that I have used the television to babysit my children with in the last few weeks. I hate it.  I can't stand it.  But it is only for a time as I adjust and as Big Mac (cause he is growing oh so fast and he his my other big boy) is an infant on no real time schedule as of yet.  I have had to set my expectations lower and know that as things settle down, which is starting to happen, less television for my crew will occur once again.  I am just learning that while Big Boy is crying and needing to nurse, as my other kids, especially Little Man, are also in need of entertainment, it is okay to turn on the television and not to be so hard on myself when I do.  If everyone is bouncing off the walls and there just doesn't seem to be enough of me to go around at that split moment of when I am in the midst of nursing, or changing a diaper, or whatever it is, and when my nerves are to the point of exploding, it is okay not to be able to do it all.  Though I must say I am starting to use music as a good source of fun.  Regardless, I am learning that this too shall pass and things will change.  I am also learning not to be my biggest critic, which I so often am.

When I first got married and even when I became a mom for the very first time, my meals used to be simple and basic.  As motherhood took hold, I am afraid that I kept placing the bar higher and higher in regards to my meals and preparations.  I used to judge other moms who would use takeouts or frozen dinners as a means to feed their families; and I placed myself on a pedestal I am afraid as my meals became more elaborate and on schedule.  Well, I was humbled near the end of my third trimester.  First, I became a total cluts and dits in the kitchen being pregnant, that my meal times fluctuated a great deal from day to day.  Then we became so busy with school functions, and the girls' extracurricular activities and more, take outs and drive-thrus became a means of survival for me as an exhausted pregnant mom with three kids!  I had to keep telling myself that this was only for just a time and it will pass, but by God my kids needed to eat!

As I head into the first full week of being by my lonesome during the day, and back into the full swing of weekly routines and school schedules as a mom of four with out meals being supplied to me by my church family anymore, simple meals and takeouts is okay and will be what I revert to use at this time.  I plan on using simple meals to survive this week and during this time of adjustment.  If mac and cheese or Hamburger Helper with a side of applesauce is all I can get on the table, then at least my family is fed.  Perfection is not the key; flexibility is I am afraid.  I also plan on using my crockpot more.  Start a dinner going in the morning and let the crockpot do the rest!  Yee-Hah!